Why waste time being pretty fed up?

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Good question. The answer, as you have already guessed, is fourfold.

First, however, we should establish what being pretty fed up is. It is useful and a lot more fun than you might realize.

Pretty fed up, and I’ll just bet you can guess this intuitively, is the state you enter when you are annoyed, or distressed or confused or in pain in some way about something (that something hereinafter referred to as “Fucked Up Shit”) and you have JUST GOTTEN REALLY FUCKING TIRED OF IT and decided enough all fucking ready, I’m just really not going to put up with this anymore.

For example, one day it’s all in news that you should eat 27 carrots per week to improve sexual performance. And then four months later, people who eat an average of 14 to 15 carrots or more per week are shown to have a higher risk of going bald and developing really fat cheeks that make other people call them ‘chipmunk cheeks’. And you are going along with this for a while, eating carrots and then not eating carrots, and drinking tea, and eating broccoli which you hate and cutting down on fat, which turns out to lower your hormonal levels or what have you and then finally you just get fucking fed up and you scream ‘Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up with these nutritional studies. I am sick of this bullshit! Quit it!’ And you go munch on some potato chips and sulk. And so on.

On the other hand, if you accidentally realize that you are part of the larger world and you take an accidental look at said larger world and recoil in horror and disgust and then go running back to your bedroom to hide your head under the covers in terror and hatred – you are not yet pretty fed up.

But if there comes a time when you peek your head out from under the covers and say ‘wait a fucking minute – why am I putting up with this shit? I don’t want to. In fact, fuck this shit, I’m going to get all pissed off about it and make an attempt to do something about it even if it is only scream at my stupid uncle who is exactly the kind of person who has caused the larger world to be the incredibly fucked up place it is.’ Then you are pretty fed up.

Now let’s get to the four good things about being fed up.

Good things about being pretty fed up No. 1:

It’s entertaining. Being fed up is sometimes one of the only ways your body can keep itself entertained in a boring and frequently uncaring world that is often apparently suffering from a major deficit in Equitable Happiness Distribution. Without the backup strategy of being fed up, your body would be forced to hang out in potential meaninglessness land, a neighborhood it doesn’t care for as it leads to a slow wasting death of despair and encroaching meaninglessness. You don’t want to die a slow wasting death of despair and encroaching meaninglessness, now do you?

Of course not. So cut your body a break and accept that fedupness is a major source of meaning for your body. Treat it to a healthy and nutritious diet containing adequate amounts of anger and ire and your body will feel very cared for and worship you as the heroic being you are.

It should be noted that everybody already knows how goddamn fucking entertaining being fed up is – which is why this currently a leading world-wide leisure time activity – well ahead of gardening, television watching, and thinking about sex. Fatigue, unhappiness and disgruntlement make the world go round! Everybody else is indulging in them. Why should you be left out?

Unhappiness is a lot like sex. Sure it may look like your neighbors, parents and co-workers aren’t engaging in it. Sure you may not want to think about them doing it. But behind closed doors, believe me, they are going at it. They are splashing around in gigantic pools of unhappiness, naked. That perky facade is just a social cover for their perverted and exotic fedupness and and general angst. They seem so normal…and yet they are getting away with all kinds of bitterness, worry, regret, despair, confusion, self-doubt, and downright exhausted irritation that you haven’t even dared try! Even worse, it’s entirely possible that Other People are fed up with exactly the same things you are – but they won’t admit it – because the social landscape has become very weird.

Other People’s marriages, lives, bodies, Sex Brains, Social Brains, and all their other Brains as well – are all falling apart and wreaking private and spectacular havoc for everyone else. Why should everyone else hog up all the drama? That’s unfair.

Claim your fair share and you too can confidently swagger around behind your social facade, secure in the knowledge that you are just as fed up and bewildered as everyone else. You will never again be socially isolated and unable to relate to Other People. As soon as you admit you are unhappy about something, people will come flocking to your side from all over the world – like moths towards flame – desperate to worship you and mingle their angst with yours in a promiscuous orgy of excited unhappiness chemicals. Hate your house with its goddamn exploding water heater? Admit it, and watch fellow terrorized homeowners come bounding to your side like excited pets. Their water heater exploded too! There is nothing as rewarding as finding someone who truly deeply hates the same things you do. Fedupness is your secret tickets to finding your tribe.

Oh this may not seem true – some people will try to disapprove of your fed up unhappiness. They will discourage it, they will pretend not to want to hear about it. But make no mistake, they love it so much they talk about nothing else behind your back. You couldn’t shut them up if you tried. They live for it.

You might as well exploit this by reveling in your natural fed up advantages, flaunting them or displaying them as tastefully as your personality permits. Enjoy your misery! Everyone else does.

It’s time that being fed up and fucked up came out of the closet as the appropriate and healthful activities they are – any time you are suffering from a personal Equitable Distribution of Happiness deficit.

Good thing about being pretty fed up No. 2:

It makes your body feel alive. When you are fed up, multitudes of little warrior cells in your body rouse themselves from a hung-over stupor, strap on their shields and start letting out excited war-whoop noises because they are so happy they finally get to do something.

They get tired of standing guard, getting drunk, and having hangovers. They exist in your body to fight, that’s what they get paid for, and any time there is a good fed up fight in the offing, they get jazzed up and start feeling worthy and important and getting over their general low self-esteem problems.

This is good for your entire body as it gets enthusiastically behind the common enterprise of fighting for your welfare and starts efficiently transporting blood and chemicals and oxygen and resources all around you on the theory that you need to be in tip-top shape in order to kick some Fucked Up Shit ass. If you don’t get fed up occasionally, your entire self will get out of shape and this is not good for any part of you.

Getting fed up is such a good source of feeling alive for a brief time that some people relentlessly overindulge and run around getting fed up over every little goddamn thing until other people start thinking they are a psychotic pain in the ass.

This is not really all that wise. It is fun to engage in a good fist-fight with life every once in a while; it is not as much fun to go around picking fights with it all the time and losing. So some people do accumulate excessive fed up wear and tear over time. This can be avoided by the expedient strategy of Picking Your Battles. Just a special bonus tip. Picking your battles leads to more war-like fun all around!

Just as many people, however, suffer from the opposite problem in which they start to get enthusiastically fed up over some Fucked Up Shit when all of a sudden their stern Social Inhibition Mechanism starts menacingly casting its long shadow over their childlike enthusiasm and they end up slinking out of the room, ashamed. Then their Social Inhibition Mechanism relentlessly works over their happy fed up warrior cells in the special Torture Enforcer Room in the back of their mind until their fedupness are all beat up and staggering out not much in the mood to be enthusiastic about anything any more.

After a few rounds of this harrowing scenario of self-criticism, said people lose their taste for fedupness and become pretty much unable to get effectively pissed off or anguished over anything. These people are forced instead to spend their entire time Pretending to Be Fine and Fooling Nobody.

And if these weren’t enough good reasons to be fed up, we have more! 

Good thing about being fed up No. 3:

It makes you feel important. And this is not an inconsiderable advantage in a world where sometimes it is actually really fucking hard to tell whether you are important or not. But in the world of being fed up, Fucked Up Shit is important because you care about it. And this creates a natural harmony with your body, because from your body’s point of view, anything that you care about is Important. Your body is sworn to protect and defend you and if what you care about is not even Important enough to get fed up about, then what fucking purpose does it have in life?

It gets so depressed when it feels unimportant and it mopes around and even the forced perkiness your Social Brain tries to hammer into it (Be upbeat! Nobody likes a sourpuss!) doesn’t do much to cheer it up. It gets all sad and so do you although sometimes you can’t tell because you are so busy Pretending to be perky and socially adapted and fine that you can’t even fucking tell.

When your Social Inhibition Mechanism beats up your pretty fed up warrior cells too often, it is sort of like your brain has declared war on your body and you are always battling your own anger and despair and Pretending until eventually you die of cancer and heart attacks and strokes and just plain being fucking tired of life. It is really hard for your body to fight the rest of the world and You at the same time.

Besides, feeling important feels good. It is a special treat and you should indulge in it often by declaring yourself dramatically fed up over any Fucked Up Shit worth getting fed up over.

It’s like exercise for your dog, only in this case, it’s for the Feeling Important nodule in your brain. Your dog likes to go outside and yip around and scamper and cause trouble on a regular basis – so does your Feeling Important nodule. Put the Likes to Feel Important modules on a leash, or take them out to the dog run and let them bark and show off. If your own personal Likes to Feel Important module has turned vicious and surly or become lazy and fat and won’t even go outside to pee, well then, you’ve got a problem. And the problem is probably insufficient regular healthy exercise and a lack of ice-cream like treats. To recap after that dizzying display of mixed metaphors: Getting fed up is good for the soul sometimes.

Good thing about being fed up No. 4:

It’s to your Maximum Personal Advantage.

Your Maximum Personal Advantage is a technical and mathematical term correlating to the Least Total Amount of Pain in your life.

Fedupness is your ally in the struggle toward Least Total Amount of Pain or Maximum Personal Advantage – because fedupness is a special pain-sensitive receptor nodule in your brain designed to tell you – ‘hey! something is fucked up and I bet we can do something about it.’ 

Fedupness activates special Fucked Up Shit destroying mechanisms inside you such as anger, emotion, distress, concern, alarm, etc., all of which are designed to recognize the existence of pain and to want like hell to make it go away.

And going away is the actual purpose of pain in life – it’s why it exists. You may notice this if you have experienced it in the form of a migraine let’s say – it runs up to the pain-receiving centers of your central nervous system and starts screaming ‘Make me go away!‘ Pain’s total goal in life is ensure that there is less of it. It gets great satisfaction out of this and rewards you with endorphins and other happy, relieved chemicals when you successfully get rid of it. And your body has many strategies to take advantage of pain’s natural predilection to want to not be there and fedupness is one of them.

Fedupness can be painful – because it’s there to recognize that pain exists somewhere in you, which it can’t do if it doesn’t feel it and tell you about it. And then fedupness wants to stomp the living shit out of it. Much to everyone’s satisfaction. If fedupness does a good job at this – congratulations all around. If it does a lousy job, boos and hisses all around, and time to take Effective Pain-Stomping Lessons.

It’s like…if there is something in the middle of your living room that’s an obstacle, if you don’t notice it, you will trip over it every time, fall down, and break your nose. Embarrassing! On the other hand, if you notice it, scream to yourself, what is this shit and kick it out of the way, then you will not fall down and you will proceed through your living room unimpeded. This will cause problems, however, if you are repeatedly kicking things in the direction of your television and breaking the screen.

If, on the other hand, you get really good with your fed up center, your fed up center will notice the obstacle well before you reach it, get fed up, announce ‘Obstacle ahead!’, reach down and move it out of the way, deciding firmly to itself that it is not about to have you trip and break your nose in an embarrassing fashion.

And then your fed up center will say ‘Why is there always shit in the middle of my living room? This is distressing and inconvenient. I’m not going to put up with this. It’s fucked up.’ And it will alert your attention centers to locate the source of the Fucked Up Shit, which is probably your kids and their toys, or possibly a stack of your own dirty underwear. Which will then alert your problem-solving center to say – ‘The Fed Up Center has identified a problem in the living room sector. Scan for solutions.’ And then it will come up with something, such as ‘Do not store toys and/or dirty underwear in middle of living room.’ And then it will try to get you to implement a solution in a reasonable and forthright manner. This is just life and you do it all the time.

Where your personal pretty fed up center gets off track and all twisted and tangled in its attempts to be helpful is when the solution center can’t find something to implement that it likes and it throws up its hands in the air and shouts ‘Oh I give the fuck up!‘

And then when your fed up center tries to bring something to its attention it snarls ‘oh for christ’s sake, will you shut the fuck up! I can’t fucking do anything about it anyway, so why don’t you just fucking pipe down and go get drunk or something. Leave me the hell alone.’ Which your fed up center does, all in a snit, and talks about you behind your back, raising mock, sarcastic toasts to you, just out of earshot – ‘here’s to mister can’t even fucking walk through his own living room without falling over! hear, hear!’ and so on.

And this sort of relentless mocking criticism behind your back turns your fed up center against you, and ultimately tears you down and wears you down as a victim of your own personal war which you are losing, making you wonder why sometimes you feel like there’s nothing you can really do about anything.

And this is why for Maximum Personal Advantage we are friendly to our Fed Up center, so it won’t turn against us, and we politely solicit its opinions. And when the Solution Center is grumpy and says it’s no use, there is no solution, we remind ourselves that the Fed Up center thinks there is one or it wouldn’t bother be activated.

And we say, Fed Up center, I hear you. The Solution Center is discouraged right now, why don’t you perk things up with your own brand of fed up cheer, light a fire under Solution Center’s ass and help us find a goddamn solution!’ Then your Fed Up module will snap to attention. And get on it, all proud to be of service. And thus we avoid a mutiny and earn the Solution Center’s grudging respect.

Special Bonus FAQ!

Is being fed up actually preferable to being happy and contented??

Good question. Although, due to the Four Factors already enumerated, being fed up is fun in its own right, it’s actually just a tool and not really intended to be a happiness substitute.

Fedupness is some ways is just a big, fat loud bulldozer meant to clear the Path to Happiness of unwarranted obstacles. And while everybody loves construction equipment, it is just equipment and not the road itself or the destination or really anything else except big, useful, noisy, fun stuff that can be hard to steer.

Now people get confused about this, and don’t know what these bulldozers in their mind are for, so they end up parking them in their backyards to rust, and worrying that they are housing some unsightly vehicles that are decreasing their own personal property values. And they peek out their back windows occasionally, sigh, and say, ‘still there, quick don’t let the neighbors see.’

And people get confused because, due to the influence of Society, and Other People, and their Social Brains, they can no longer remember whether they are actually even supposed to be on the Path to Happiness and they worry that even if they are, they are probably not supposed to be using a big loud bulldozer to clear obstacles because Other People will probably get mad.

And this is legitimate, fair enough, you are supposed to be on the Path to Happiness, but sometimes it is indeed strewn with lots of small delicate obstacles that a bulldozer is not appropriate to deal with, and no, lots of times you probably can’t just fucking bulldoze your way over anything and everything that looks like an obstacle on your personal Path to Happiness, unless you want Other People to get really upset at being bulldozed and fantasize about ways to kill you. Sometimes you have to snake and turn and twist and sneak around back Paths to Happiness and you can’t be so loud about it. No problem.

This is when your personal Pocket-Sized Bulldozer of Fedupness comes in handy. Slip it in your backpack unobtrusively on your journey, whip it out at appropriate moments and watch the cute little fucker move some earth on your behalf. People will be so fucking impressed and enamored of your cute little earth-mover and they will not be so scared by them. They will murmur to themselves, ‘What finesse, what style. And so handy. So cute.’ And they will want one for themselves. Sometimes when a concept doesn’t work so well on the large, noisy scale, it works just fine on the small and handy scale.

And this is just part of good training for the warrior cells in your fed up troops. Teaching them how to be polite and perky as well as intimidating and well-muscled. Sometimes they can say ‘Fucked Up!’ in a cheerful voice. And sometimes they can say ‘SO GODDAMN FUCKING FUCKED UP!’ in a furious and attention-getting voice.

They’ll get the hang of it once you start training them on a regular basis and giving them a chance to practice their skills whenever you encounter Fucked Up Shit. They’ll develop judgment as they get a chance to exercise it. But you knew this already, you had just forgotten how much fun it was to let them play and let off steam and how endearing their personalities could be once they weren’t under all that stress from your Social Inhibition Mechanism.

Special Bonus Section!

Special Tips for Getting Along with Your Fed Up Warrior Cells:

• The pretty fed up center is meant to be enthusiastic, courageous, energetic, optimistic, well-trained and in good, lean, muscular shape. The warrior cells are not meant to be vicious, surly, fat, lazy, back-biting and malicious. If these things are happening, they need to be taken out to the dog-run for some yelping, scampering, barking, ungrown-up fun. Dig some Fucked Up Shit out of your back-pack; you know you’ve got some in there. Toss it their way like a Frisbee, so they can race excitedly after it, leap up into the air and catch it for you. They love that shit. And you have to admit, even if it’s kind of funny, it’s also fun to watch and kind of impressive. Trot out your grudges and your petty resentments occasionally and let the fed up warriors chew on them, chase them, worry them like a bone, growl and just generally do all that fun dog stuff.
• The pretty fed up center has as its original motto – ‘To Protect and Defend!‘ not ‘To Randomly Destroy Anything In The Vicinity Out of Sheer Frustration’. So even if there is not anything particularly noteworthy going on in your life for the warrior cells to protect and defend, it is still a good idea to play with them. To go back to dogs – it is perfectly acceptable to play with your dog, so it can practice defending you. Get an old shoe, let it get it in its mouth, and then try to pull it out while it fights you and shakes its head back and forth and growls. Do this with old resentments or previous injuries you don’t need anymore. Like this: I WAS TOO GOOD AT SPELLING, MRS. MONKCRACKER! And so on. I WAS TOO….is a great old shoe to be used against anybody who has ever insulted you in the past.
• Pretty fed up warrior cells are team players. They are naturally bossy and aggressive, but they really like big projects and enjoy working with other members of your body’s team or even other fed up people, especially if they get lots of credit and the occasional medal for heroism and so on. To keep them happy and out of the bars, you can give them big projects to keep them busy even if you don’t think much is going to come of it.

You could for example, tell them, ‘Work to Defend Democracy!’ Which could seem like a huge project and a tiring, yet futile, waste of energy. But let them at it, and the warrior cells will get right on it, sign you up for some not too onerous civic-minded project to get out the vote or something. And then, much to your surprise, you will actually enjoy it and meet some cool people. You will really be surprised at the versatile talents of your personal soldiers. It’s a point of pride with them to do things well when they are entrusted with a project. They can be rivalrous with your other Centers but they hate to let down the team!

Give your fed up troops the occasional That Was Very Courageous Medal to keep them motivated even when they point out something you really didn’t want to hear, like ‘You’re not doing yourself any favors with your current lifestyle.’ Or ‘you are really craving an actual sense of meaning in your life and your current job just ain’t cutting it for you.’ Fed Up warrior cells get tremendously discouraged if you don’t pay attention to their messages and they will get all malicious and eventually try to fuck up your life by popping out at unexpected moments if they don’t get enough attention. Save yourself a whole lot of trouble by taking them out to the dog run and yelling Good Dog! at them so they don’t shit all over your carpet. Just a thought.

Keep them on their toes by treating them to the occasional dressing-down. Shout, ‘What, are you a fucking moron! That’s dangerous!’ or ‘That’s stupid!’ if they try to take you bungee-jumping for example, or suggest that you punch your boss in the nose. They respect authority and want to know you are paying attention. Occasional yelling makes them feel that you still care.

Keep in mind that their intentions are good but their tactics are sometimes short-sighted or not completely well-informed. Play president in your own mind and when they suggest ‘Attack! Attack the mother-fucker! Nuclear submarines!’, solicit advice from your Social Brain, and your Common-Sense module, and your Does This Really Work Skepticism Center. They don’t really like to run everything because it makes them feel insecure. What they like to do is make big pronouncements about Fucked Up Shit and advocate for your welfare. They are really hoping someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing is in charge and it shouldn’t be them. They are troops, not Ministers of Fucking State.

They like arguing and being decisive, effective, and competent in executing a pre-determined plan. They would rather argue than reason, they like clear-cut facts and black and white contrasts. They want to be passionate and emotional in your defense and to know that some other Center is going to handle being reasonable and thoughtful. THEY LOVE YOU and they just want to show it by getting pissed off at anything that messes with you. Thus they do not like chaos, lack of structure, or lack of leadership at the top. They get extremely grumpy when they feel overworked or like they have to take all the load of making decisions for you. They can get really pissy with you in that situation.

Warrior cells are not tactful animals. That’s for your Social Brain. Don’t torture them with nuances and nit-picky non-emotional little Practical Considerations. They can be cheerleaders, albeit sometimes cheerleaders with hairy legs. They can kick up those legs and shout ‘WE WANT TO WIN!’, but they can’t go to department meetings and get fifteen policy wonks to agree on the definition of ‘effective’ in the phrase ‘Effective Transportation Policy.’ Don’t make them try. They will just fuck it up.

They are meant to kick the ass of Fucked Up Shit, not innocent children and little puppies. They despise that picking on the weak and helpless stuff. They want worthy adversaries, decisive battles, and meaningful, sentimental and patriotic things to fight for. They do not want to kick puppies. They hate that shit. If you are using Fed Up to scream at your 7-year old every afternoon, they are going to despise you. You can try to shout them down when they protest or question your judgment, but will they not respect you and they will work relentlessly to see that you don’t respect yourself either. A broken water heater is a worthy adversary – a little old lady with a cane trying to cross the street to get to her hair appointment is not. Scream at her ‘Get out of the street you Fucked Up Bitch!’ and they will call you a wuss and a sorry little turd for the rest of your life until you apologize.

Enough! You and your Fed Up warriors are going to have to have all kinds of happy fun with each other.